Sleep Training Day 1

Posted on | April 16, 2009 | 1 Comment

At Lily’s doctor appointment on the 8th, I was told that Lily should be sleeping through the night already (and could of been 4 months ago)…

Epiphany: Babies reach a point where they do not need to wake up to eat at night, which means parents can sleep a full 8 hours (this alone makes me want to jump and scream in utter happiness). This is that same point when babies stop training parents and parents start training babies. This unspoken point of reversal will sneak up on you. End Epiphany.

Apparently we missed that little piece of information that would have made life a whole lot easier on so many levels. We have been feeding Lily every time she wakes up at night, thinking she was waking up because of hunger. So, without knowing it, we actually trained her to wake up at night. This even has a name. It is called being a “Trained Night Feeder”. She typically wakes up between 2 and 4 times a night.

What is a trained night feeder?

is over 4 months old and wakes up more than 1 or more times per night to be fed.
can only return to sleep after being fed or held.
is fed until asleep at naps and bedtime.
has awakened to be fed at night since birth.

Breast fed babies can sleep up to 7 hours by 5 months of age. Formula fed babies can sleep up to 7 hours by 4 months of age.

Now, we have the task of training her to sleep at night. Our doctor recommended something called sleep training, which teaches babies how to fall asleep on their own. Below is a quick run down of sleep training a baby.

Below is geared toward a nine month old. Adjust eating times and amounts for age. Once sleep training has been established (after 2 weeks) it will be easier to put the baby to sleep at night and for naps. They also learn to put themselves back to sleep at night. Which allows parents to get a full night of sleep.

Before starting sleep training:

Begin delaying feedings to 3-4 hours between feedings. Do it slowly. For example, if they are eating every hour, then increase to every 1 1/2 hours. Once they accept that, add another 1/2 hour.
Get into a routine for naps and bedtime. Follow the same steps each day. This allows the child to have a predictable set of events that prepare them for sleep and allow them to wind down.
Stop giving bottles in bed or feeding until asleep. Start separating food and sleep. If a feeding is a part of a bedtime routine, make it first in line. For example, feed then bathe and then read a story. This allows them to disassociate food with sleep.
Move the crib to another room, if it is in your bedroom. Or cover the rails safely so the baby can’t see you when they wake up.
Avoid long naps during the day. Limit naps to 2 hours, and 2 naps per day.

Once the above list has been tackled, start sleep training.

Place the baby in the crib sleepy but awake. No longer rock the baby until asleep. You can rock her until drowsy but place her in the crib before she is full asleep. Give her a stuffed toy or security blanket and leave the room. She will cry or stand up in her crib. After 2 minutes return to the room, lay her down and repeat the process. Reassure her that you are not leaving her but do not stay in the room for more than 1 minute. If she continues to cry or stand up, return again after a few minutes. Repeat the process and leave the room. Increase the time between each visit.

Important: Once in the crib, do not remove her until after the nap. This will only teach her that crying will get her out of the crib. It will make for a longer process, confusion, and a whole lot of tears.

The first time she will cry for about 45 minutes before she falls asleep. The second time an hour and the third time about 20 minutes.

Keep track of the time. This will help because 5 minutes can feel like an hour when your baby is crying.

By using this method, behavior is supposed to improve within two weeks. However, if this is not done then the child may not sleep through the night until ages 3 or 4, when busy schedules exhaust them. Also at around 12 months of age, child develop the ability to keep themselves awake no matter how tired they are. Delaying this process will make it harder on everyone involved.

Now that you have the facts, here is how is it going for us.

Lily’s Sleep Training Day 1:

Lily wakes up at about 8am. She then takes her first nap at 11am. Her second nap at 4pm and finally back to bed at 8pm.

I decided to start day one with her first nap at 11am. This way I was also fully rested and ready for a heart breaking cry fest. I went through our normal process pre-nap. She has some baby crackers, then a bottle, and we go on a walk with Berkeley. Then we go to her room, she gets a diaper change and a pacifier and we lay down. Except this time, instead of laying down together or rocking her, I put her in her crib, gave her a stuffed toy, kissed her good night, and told her “night, night”. I left the room.

She was quiet for a minute, then stood up and started whimpering. When I didn’t come right back in, she started crying. I returned, layed her down, kissed her, and left the room. She immediatly stood up again (I was watching through the crack in the door but she couldn’t see me). After a few more minutes, I returned and repeated the process.

At the 20 minute mark I was dying at little. I started pacing back and forth outside her door, wondering if I was doing the right thing, checking the clock, etc. She was balling her baby eyes out. So after checking in on her again, I pulled out my laptop and spent the time researching sleep training, reading mom forums about the topic, etc. I texted my sister who has two boys ages 3 and 5. This helped me keep my mind on track and stay strong.

Before I knew it I was only going in the room every 10 minutes. By peaking through the crack in the door (where she couldn’t see me), I could see that she was no longer trying to stand up. She was kicking her legs around and holding her toy, but the crying was less. At this point (about 35 minutes), she would have random crying but not constant. At 40 minutes she was quiet.

By the 45 minute mark exactly she was fast asleep! I could not believe my eyes. I literally jumped up and down and was so excited about it. She slept for about an hour. Once she was awake I went in and snuggled her and told her what a good job she did.

I can wait until next week! Looks like this could work.

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